I recently watched a documentary on the ABC called How to Build a Time Machine. In fact I watched it twice. The second time I took notes. For real.
So as you can probably imagine, I am now furiously drawing up plans and sourcing materials. I won’t share the details of this project because it is, of course, top secret but if you hear of a diamond heist in the next month or so – I will be needing bail money.
My dubious knowledge of physics and questionable engineering skills notwithstanding, I am determined to achieve my goal. Although maybe I already have? Perhaps I’ve already built a time machine in the future and it’s currently in transit somewhen else? Anyway, it’s not “here and now” so it appears I still have a lot of work ahead of me to realise this dream.
In the meantime, it’s got me wondering “where and when” I’ll go first – once I’ve got my trusty time machine. Past or future?
I reckon I’d like to go back to ancient Egypt to see how the pyramids were built, because there is that theory about “alien involvement” in the process. I really hope not, but if I find Tom Cruise skulking around Tutankhamen’s tomb I guess I’ll have my answer.
But seriously … How amazing would it be to actually be in Egypt in those times? In 2500 BCE when the Great Pyramid was under construction … when Gods and Pharaohs and Mummies were in vogue, where civilisation prospered on the banks of The Nile.
I wonder though if the reality of ancient Egypt would match the romantic notion I have of it from visiting museums and reading books about it. I mean, it is in the desert – and anyone who has spent any time with me over the past few summers in Queensland, knows I am not a fan of the heat.
Upon reflection, my design for a time machine probably needs tweaking. I think I’m going to need a Winnebago-style arrangement – air-conditioned – with a shower, flushing toilet and kitchen. It’ll need solar panels so I can recharge my devices and boil the kettle for tea. Workplace Health & Safety considerations would also apply. I’d need to stock my time machine with hi-vis gear if I’m going to be on an Egyptian construction site. I’d also need a hat, sunnies and plenty of 50+ sunscreen.
Yeah, I’ll fit it. Okay, no – it’s becoming apparent that this won’t be an undercover mission. I’m probably going to have to confess that I’m from the future. Maybe I’ll be a celebrity!
Oh wait. They might impound my time machine! Confiscate my devices! And then interrogate me about the future! What would I say? It’s been over two thousand years since a pharaoh ruled in Egypt – Cleopatra having succumbed to the charms of Roman Emperors, before her country succumbed to the Roman army. Yes, the Great Pyramid is still standing but what the looters didn’t steal from the tombs, the civilised folk have put on display in museums. In fact the treasures from Tutankhamen’s tomb are currently on a worldwide tour!
It’s definitely going to get awkward. And if they find my iPod … The Bangles Walk like an Egyptian was awesome through the eyes of an 80s teenager, but I’m not convinced it’ll get the endorsement of the ancient ones.
It’s probably lucky I’ve got so much lead time until my first adventure, because I think my choice of destination is going to need a good deal more thought.